This blog will be a journal of sorts, in which I will document the days apart from my child.
You can call me Silent. I'm a recently turned twenty-six year old mother of a little boy who I will from here on be referring to by his middle-name, Riane. Please note that many names will likely be changed through the progression of this blog, so as to provide absolute privacy to anyone involved. My son is eight years old; he was born when I was seventeen and has been, and will always be, the very sun in my sky.
I was seventeen and knew nothing of children. I never expected to have any, and it was a difficult thing to be a teenager and single parent who worked a full-time job and desperately tried to produce a good life for my baby. After struggling and nearly becoming homeless after his first year, I made a life changing move; I joined the military. I wanted to give my son a good life. I had not gone to high school and while I had applied for every form of state aid possible, living on 336 dollars a month and attempting to pay rent, day care, and all other needs (such as diapers and food, so on) was just not working. Where I live, it costs roughly 550 dollars to rent a small room.
So I went through training. Six months of it, without my baby boy. When I came home he was bigger (my mother had been taking care of him) and I broke down the moment I was able to hold him again. Even then, to be without him, the light of my life, was intolerable. I promised never again.
A promise I broke and will never, ever forgive myself for.
Please understand that this blog is from my heart, each and every word, for I cannot contain the sorrow I feel any longer. It will be emotional and often hectic, I imagine, but I will do my best to keep it as organized as I can.
In my next post I will describe the details of how CPS came into my life.
Thank you for reading.
Showing posts with label son. Show all posts
Showing posts with label son. Show all posts